A Tradition from Romania

There are a treasure trove of rituals and traditions that originate from Romaniaand people from different regions practice these in varied forms. The important ceremonial rituals practiced as part of a wedding is heavily dependant upon which region the couple come from.

One ritual/tradition that we came across takes place in the hours leading up to the wedding when the bride is preparing for the day. While she is dressing, the bridesmaids and best friends all gather and assist her.  This is a very important part of the preparation and can be a very emotional and moving moment for the bride and those closest to her.

Song of the Bride:

Say goodbye bride to your mother, to your father

To your sisters, to your brothers, to your garden with flowers

To your friends and neighbours, to the games or lover

Cry bride, today is the day

It's time to forget your father and love your husband

To forget your mother and to love your mother- in- law

To forget about your sisters and to love your sisters-in-law

 

You will go with your husband and you will leave behind everything you had.

 

As they prepare her for her ceremony a song, "Say farewell bride to your family and house"- "Ia-ti mireasa ziua buna" is played and with an overflow of emotion, is often accompanied by tears and embraces  from all present. We found a rough translation of the lyrics:

Today with many couples living together before they are married, much of this significance can be lost, but for those who are coming from their parents home to join their husband in a new home and a new life, this rite of passage is still very special.

A family unity ritual - Exchanging Rings

With so many couples finding love later in life or when they already have children, Family Unity Rituals are fast becoming not only popular, but important in bringing a sense of commitment, readiness and togetherness to the wedding ceremony and to each member who is trying to find their places in the new family structure. This example is a simple way of including the children in making the commitment and leaving each member of the family with a lasting reminder of their inclusion. At the point in the ceremony where the couple have exchanged their rings the celebrant will say:   "Could I now ask Jasmine and Sarah to please come forward. Jake, can we please have the rings."   (The children can either know about this or it can be a surprise for them. For a boy who would prefer not to wear a ring,  he may be given the ring on a chain to wear around his neck or something else appropriate.)   "Jasmine and Sarah, today your parents are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of their lives with each other as a couple, but they could not make those promises wholeheartedly without including the two of you. Not only are they making their vows to each other, but also to both of you to live the rest of each of your lives connected to one another always. (Mum & dad to place the rings on the girl’s fingers)     The relationship that you each have with the other members of this family are symbolized with the rings that you each now wear. Each one is perfectly round with no beginning or end and is made of the strongest metal. Today they represent everything that your parents hope for this family. For there to be no end and for this family to be made of the strength, love and commitment that each of you bring to it today.   May this togetherness never be broken and may your lives always be blended and intertwined with each other’s in happiness, hope and prosperity."

Week 18 - Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed & Something Blue

Welcome to week 18 of our "52 traditions/rituals in 52 weeks."

One of the most common and recognised wedding traditions has to be “Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue” – and if you are going all the way then “And a Sliver Sixpence in her Shoe.”

Of the many thousands of traditions that have come and gone over the centuries, this old English rhyme from the Victorian era is one that has truly stood the test of time and for some reason is still the most popular of all rituals/traditions in our modern society.

"Something Old" is said to symbolise the special connection that the bride has with her own family and that she will maintain to them and to her origins and her past. ‘Something Old – usually gives rise for the bride to choose something that is meaningful from the family, perhaps an heirloom or a piece of her grandmother (or other family members) jewellery. Another option, far more popular in the past than in recent times, is the wearing of a wedding gown belonging to her mother or grandmother.

"Something New" signifies that if the bride has something new then  good fortune and success will be in abundance as she begins her new life with her husband. ‘Something new’ can be anything of her choosing, but if she is not wearing an old dress then her new wedding dress is often a good choice.

"Something Borrowed" is a reminder to the bride of her strong friendships and family bond. The borrowing of an item will give her a sense that she will have love and support whenever she may need it and always have others to lean on when times are tough. The borrowed item can be anything of her choosing, but is most often something that is easily concealed, worn or able to fit in a small purse.

"Something Blue" Is a symbol of love, faithfulness, modesty, fidelity and loyalty. In ancient Roman times the colour blue was the colour that represented all of these (Evidenced by the Virgin Mary in blue). Brides often wore blue wedding gowns in those times and a today still honour this by wearing a blue garter.

 "A Silver Sixpence in her Shoe" A sixpence is an old British coin, which was said to bring the good wishes of loved ones to the bride for financial security and happiness if worn in her shoe. For the best of fortune, she should be sure to ware it in her left shoe. In modern times any other silver coin may be used as a substitute, but there are places that sell keepsake sixpences for weddings.

Superstition warns us that a bride who carries these objects will ensure that she is blessed with a happy, long and prosperous married life. While we love this tradition and all of its sentiment, every bride is beautiful and lucky on her big day and if you don’t manage to have all of these items then begin your own tradition with what you do have and find significance in them.

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

The Importance of Rituals

Seeing as we are going to be spending the entire year bringing you Wedding Rituals/Traditions, I wanted to tell you a little about why this was so important to us.

Across the world ceremonies or rituals are used to define the more important stages of our lives and a wedding ceremony is the perfect example of one of those stages being at the height of tradition and formality.

From superstition and myth to etiquette, dress and both ancient and modern rituals, wedding ceremonies are steeped in tradition and symbolism.

Many cultures still actively practise ancient traditions or may have adapted some to suit a more modern environment, but nonetheless they still hold the same meaning and importance to those who practise them.

While as a modern society we may have somewhat moved away from some of the more outlandish rituals of stealing a bride away from her family or slapping each other with fish for good luck, it has become very ‘trendy’ of late to incorporate more of the common and meaningful traditions into today’s wedding ceremony.

Adding a ritual to your ceremony can provide the perfect opportunity to include all of your guests or even a select few whom you really want to play a part. Including a ritual is also a great way of blending families in a really unique way and allows wedding guests to actually see something interesting and heart felt.

If you honestly sat down and thought about all of the ceremonies that you have attended (and for me as a celebrant that is one heck of a lot!) they can often all blend into a distant fond memory, but if the couple did something that was unique, different or that evoked in you an emotional response, then chances are this will be a ceremony that will stay with you always.

For me, doing ceremony after ceremony every weekend is a wonderful experience and opportunity to see people from all different backgrounds, but officiating so many ceremonies often leaves them as a bit of a blurr in my distant memory.

There are, however, probably 4 or 5 out of all that I have done that have stuck with me as clear as if they were yesterday and that was simply because they used a ritual or tradition that touched or inspired me and because of that their exchange was etched in my mind forever.

One of these was something I hadn’t seen a couple do before and it was called the ‘silent rose ceremony’.

As I stood with the groom at the front of the assembled guests under a gorgeous flower lined gazebo, the music began playing and the bride appeared at the end of the garden. She walked up slowly on her brothers arm and when she reached the front of the group the groom walked forward and joined her, taking her arm.

Together they walked over to his mother first, and silently handed her a single gorgeous white rose. Nothing was said, they just each kissed her cheek and embraced her and then walked silently over to the bride’s mother and did the same to her. As the mothers were each unaware that this was going to take place they were both sobbing gorgeously and I think every guest including myself had a tear in their eye. The bride and groom then walked back to stand before me and the ceremony began. It was truly one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen done and yet so simple.

I’m not saying that including a ritual or tradition in your ceremony is right for everyone, but if you can find something that suits who you are then you should absolutely go for it. Make sure your ceremony is one that will be etched in your guests memories forever.

For inspiring ideas, don’t forget to look out for our ’52 Rituals/Traditions in 52 Weeks’

The wedding gurus