A Tradition from Romania

There are a treasure trove of rituals and traditions that originate from Romaniaand people from different regions practice these in varied forms. The important ceremonial rituals practiced as part of a wedding is heavily dependant upon which region the couple come from.

One ritual/tradition that we came across takes place in the hours leading up to the wedding when the bride is preparing for the day. While she is dressing, the bridesmaids and best friends all gather and assist her.  This is a very important part of the preparation and can be a very emotional and moving moment for the bride and those closest to her.

Song of the Bride:

Say goodbye bride to your mother, to your father

To your sisters, to your brothers, to your garden with flowers

To your friends and neighbours, to the games or lover

Cry bride, today is the day

It's time to forget your father and love your husband

To forget your mother and to love your mother- in- law

To forget about your sisters and to love your sisters-in-law

 

You will go with your husband and you will leave behind everything you had.

 

As they prepare her for her ceremony a song, "Say farewell bride to your family and house"- "Ia-ti mireasa ziua buna" is played and with an overflow of emotion, is often accompanied by tears and embraces  from all present. We found a rough translation of the lyrics:

Today with many couples living together before they are married, much of this significance can be lost, but for those who are coming from their parents home to join their husband in a new home and a new life, this rite of passage is still very special.

Week 28 Finnish Wedding

52 Wedding Rituals and Traditions from Around the World Finnish wedding traditions.

The stunning country of Finland, known to many as the land of a thousand lakes, is rich in beauty, culture and tradition. Like many, Finnish people love a good wedding and it is at the wedding ceremony that we see many of their rituals and traditions at work. We’ve chosen a few of our favourites that can be easily incorporated into your own wedding whether you are of Finnish heritage or not. On the day of her wedding, as the bride prepares for her big day, a golden crown is placed on her head for her to wear throughout the ceremony. She continues to wear the crown as they commence to their reception and it remains on her head until the time that the ‘Dance of the Crown’ is performed. 

This ritual dance sees the bridesmaids place a blindfold on the bride as they begin to move around her, dancing and confusing her of their place. Much like the tradition of the garter toss, the bride then places the crown on the head of one of the bridesmaids (it is left to fate as the bride cannot see who she is placing it on). It is this bridesmaid that is then, according to the tradition, the next one to be married.

Another fun tradition that takes place at a Finnish wedding is the dance to end the celebrations. This is something that anyone could include in their wedding just for something different and fun. The last dance is known as the ‘Weaning Waltz’ and a group can be easily shown how to participate. To kick of the dancing an instrumental waltz is played as all female guests dance with only the bride and all male guests dance with only the groom. This works best if everyone gets in on it, even the grandparents and older guests and small children assisted by their parents. The bride and groom are whisked around the dance floor, briefly dancing with guests who endeavour to make them ‘forget’ their marriage partner. There is lots of laughter and fun until the bride and groom finally return to each others arms to complete the dance and show to all present that nothing can keep them apart. 

One of the most magical things about rituals and traditions in ceremony is that you don’t have to be a part of that culture to incorporate some of the fun and meaningful elements into your own ceremony. Find one that suits you as a couple and will add to your enjoyment of your day. 

The Wedding Gurus xxx

52 Rituals/Traditions from around the world: Dove Release

As part of our 52 Rituals and Traditions segment we have chosen to have a look at the Dove Release which can be a beautiful and symbolic addition to any ceremony.

Celebrant:
"White doves mate for life and much like a married couple, sometimes the doves take flight and follow their own path for short periods of time, not tied to each other every moment of every passing day. But when the darkness sets in, whether their day’s journey has been together or apart, they both return to the safe place they know is home for the night, to each other.

The releasing of these white doves is a blessing to you both on this day. It is a reminder that while your lives, your paths and your other commitments may often lead you in opposite directions, you always have a place to come home to, to find each other and be one."

Release the doves

"As these doves fly they will carry for you and all of your loved ones here present, wishes for peace, love and hope for your future life together."

Placement of the Wedding Ring

Welcome to week 27 of 52 Wedding Tradition/Rituals in 52 Weeks, 

Have you ever asked yourself why the wedding ring is placed on the third finger of the left hand?

We recently pondered the same question and in response we decided to go in search of where this idea may have originated. As you can imagine there were many interpretations and we have outlined our favourite 3 for you.

In Western Culture it was thought to originate from the Greek physicians in the third century B.C where they were misled to believe that a vein of blood ran from the third finger of the left hand straight to the heart. A slightly misguided interpretation of the human anatomy yes, but you can understand their logic of placing the ring that symbolises love and commitment on the part of the body that was thought to be in direct connection to the heart. In fact this vein was later named ‘vena amori’ or vein of love.

The Chinese have a beautiful interpretation and we have outlined this below showing the representation of each finger :

Thumb represents your parents

Index finger represents your siblings

Middle finger represents your self

Ring finger represents your life partner

Little finger represents children

Now this idea is not based solely on just guessing what each finger may represent, there is actually a really sweet theory behind it.

Basically, if you place your palms together in front of you and bend your middle fingers down so that they are knuckle to knuckle (see pic) the significance becomes clear.

Your thumbs (which represent your parents) are easily separated as you are separated from them as you move off to marry.

Your index finger (which represents your siblings) is also easily separated signifying how you will separate from them in your life, creating your own families.

Your middle finger - is removed as it represents yourself.

Your little finger (representing your future children) is easily parted also representing that they too are not with you forever.

If you try however to separate your ring fingers (representing your life partner) You cannot. Why? because you are tied together as one for eternity. The sentiment behind this theory is beautiful in that the inability to separate these two fingers is exactly where the rings should be placed reminding us of this everlasting unbreakable bond.

A final theory (culture unknown) puts forward the idea that the third finger cannot be held out alone, it needs the support of both the middle and little fingers on either side . So what does this signify, well it gives the ring finger union, support and protection thus representing a happy and health marriage and life together..

The Wedding Gurus xx

Week 18 - Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed & Something Blue

Welcome to week 18 of our "52 traditions/rituals in 52 weeks."

One of the most common and recognised wedding traditions has to be “Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue” – and if you are going all the way then “And a Sliver Sixpence in her Shoe.”

Of the many thousands of traditions that have come and gone over the centuries, this old English rhyme from the Victorian era is one that has truly stood the test of time and for some reason is still the most popular of all rituals/traditions in our modern society.

"Something Old" is said to symbolise the special connection that the bride has with her own family and that she will maintain to them and to her origins and her past. ‘Something Old – usually gives rise for the bride to choose something that is meaningful from the family, perhaps an heirloom or a piece of her grandmother (or other family members) jewellery. Another option, far more popular in the past than in recent times, is the wearing of a wedding gown belonging to her mother or grandmother.

"Something New" signifies that if the bride has something new then  good fortune and success will be in abundance as she begins her new life with her husband. ‘Something new’ can be anything of her choosing, but if she is not wearing an old dress then her new wedding dress is often a good choice.

"Something Borrowed" is a reminder to the bride of her strong friendships and family bond. The borrowing of an item will give her a sense that she will have love and support whenever she may need it and always have others to lean on when times are tough. The borrowed item can be anything of her choosing, but is most often something that is easily concealed, worn or able to fit in a small purse.

"Something Blue" Is a symbol of love, faithfulness, modesty, fidelity and loyalty. In ancient Roman times the colour blue was the colour that represented all of these (Evidenced by the Virgin Mary in blue). Brides often wore blue wedding gowns in those times and a today still honour this by wearing a blue garter.

 "A Silver Sixpence in her Shoe" A sixpence is an old British coin, which was said to bring the good wishes of loved ones to the bride for financial security and happiness if worn in her shoe. For the best of fortune, she should be sure to ware it in her left shoe. In modern times any other silver coin may be used as a substitute, but there are places that sell keepsake sixpences for weddings.

Superstition warns us that a bride who carries these objects will ensure that she is blessed with a happy, long and prosperous married life. While we love this tradition and all of its sentiment, every bride is beautiful and lucky on her big day and if you don’t manage to have all of these items then begin your own tradition with what you do have and find significance in them.

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

The Importance of Rituals

Seeing as we are going to be spending the entire year bringing you Wedding Rituals/Traditions, I wanted to tell you a little about why this was so important to us.

Across the world ceremonies or rituals are used to define the more important stages of our lives and a wedding ceremony is the perfect example of one of those stages being at the height of tradition and formality.

From superstition and myth to etiquette, dress and both ancient and modern rituals, wedding ceremonies are steeped in tradition and symbolism.

Many cultures still actively practise ancient traditions or may have adapted some to suit a more modern environment, but nonetheless they still hold the same meaning and importance to those who practise them.

While as a modern society we may have somewhat moved away from some of the more outlandish rituals of stealing a bride away from her family or slapping each other with fish for good luck, it has become very ‘trendy’ of late to incorporate more of the common and meaningful traditions into today’s wedding ceremony.

Adding a ritual to your ceremony can provide the perfect opportunity to include all of your guests or even a select few whom you really want to play a part. Including a ritual is also a great way of blending families in a really unique way and allows wedding guests to actually see something interesting and heart felt.

If you honestly sat down and thought about all of the ceremonies that you have attended (and for me as a celebrant that is one heck of a lot!) they can often all blend into a distant fond memory, but if the couple did something that was unique, different or that evoked in you an emotional response, then chances are this will be a ceremony that will stay with you always.

For me, doing ceremony after ceremony every weekend is a wonderful experience and opportunity to see people from all different backgrounds, but officiating so many ceremonies often leaves them as a bit of a blurr in my distant memory.

There are, however, probably 4 or 5 out of all that I have done that have stuck with me as clear as if they were yesterday and that was simply because they used a ritual or tradition that touched or inspired me and because of that their exchange was etched in my mind forever.

One of these was something I hadn’t seen a couple do before and it was called the ‘silent rose ceremony’.

As I stood with the groom at the front of the assembled guests under a gorgeous flower lined gazebo, the music began playing and the bride appeared at the end of the garden. She walked up slowly on her brothers arm and when she reached the front of the group the groom walked forward and joined her, taking her arm.

Together they walked over to his mother first, and silently handed her a single gorgeous white rose. Nothing was said, they just each kissed her cheek and embraced her and then walked silently over to the bride’s mother and did the same to her. As the mothers were each unaware that this was going to take place they were both sobbing gorgeously and I think every guest including myself had a tear in their eye. The bride and groom then walked back to stand before me and the ceremony began. It was truly one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen done and yet so simple.

I’m not saying that including a ritual or tradition in your ceremony is right for everyone, but if you can find something that suits who you are then you should absolutely go for it. Make sure your ceremony is one that will be etched in your guests memories forever.

For inspiring ideas, don’t forget to look out for our ’52 Rituals/Traditions in 52 Weeks’

The wedding gurus